Every Sunday we welcome coarse fishing all-rounder Colin Mitchell.
For many years Colin was a senior Angler’s Mail magazine staff man and he has enjoyed a long, interesting journalism career.
He understands match fishing, pleasure fishing, carp fishing – the lot.
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Fishing with the muppets!
IT’S always great to have a mate to go fishing with, whether it be for match or pleasure angling.
But it’s not so much fun when you fish with a Muppet. And I’m not on about Kermit or Miss Piggy…
These muppets are similar to those who sit next to you on a train or bus and talk non-stop nonsense. Except they are usually a lot worse. In no particular order, here are a few of the muppets I’ve had the – ahem – pleasure of meeting over the past few months.
Arrived with his dad, sat in the next peg and rather than ‘are we there yet’ it was incessant ‘have we caught yet’ as he waved the landing net about looking like he was trying to snare a butterfly. He did fall in, he did keep running along the bank as if he was Mo Farah and in the end managed to force his dad into an early return home. Thank you!
I don’t mind someone suggesting a few fishing tips or a bit of advice. But when the guy told me 4lb line he bought 20 years ago is still the business I did get more than a little perturbed. Then when he imparted the knowledge that he bought the tip – yes just the tip – of his rod 35 years ago for £35 I got more worried. I did the only honourable thing I could – blanked him for the rest of the day. Although it was difficult as his clutch kept screaming as 1lb carp tore off at an alarming rate!
All I can say is that I am so glad this muppet was stuck in that box on the side of the theatre – that’s the other side of the lake to you and me! The more fish I caught the more bait he put in. If he had been anywhere near me I would have gone home. The fish probably wanted to give themselves up they were so stuffed. No, he didn’t catchy…
My mate Mike and I were both bagging up with all sorts of species when two guys walked around and started to tell me what a rubbish fishery we were on! They said the owner needed to cut down all the reeds, stock more fish and generally sort the place out. Eh? Sorry! The reeds are where the fish have bred, where they hide from predators and that is why this is a water where you are virtually guaranteed to catch no matter what the conditions. Miss Piggy ignorant…
Ok, this is from a bit longer than a few months ago, but it’s still a real doozy! As we fished a match on a local lake a teenager walked around, pushed a stick in the water and then swirled it around. One by one he went past my mates who all encouraged him to move on. Then he got to Max who swore at him as the lad said ‘I put the stick in the water’. After adding: ‘Naughty man said naughty word’ the lad moved on to Charlie. The stick was once again plunged into the margins but the lad didn’t stay long when he was told that if he did it again he would be picking stones up off the bottom with his teeth. Muppet fur gets wet very easily.
At one of our little local ponds some of the youngsters arrive armed with sea fishing gear ‘just in case’ they land the huge carp rumoured to live in the two foot depths. One lost his hook the other day and shouted over to his mate asking if he could borrow another. What size? ‘The biggest you have got,’ came the reply. After tying on something like a mini-gaff he then moulded a whole slice of bread on the hook. A few casts later he was on his way home…the fishing gods had smiled on me once again!
Sometimes you do just have to laugh! I was fishing chopped worms last week and putting quite a few dendrobaenas in my swim when a mate walked around the lake. ‘They are great those rhododendrons, I put two on my hook the other day for carp,’ he told me calmly. I bit my tongue…
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COLIN MITCHELL WILL BE BACK WITH HIS POPULAR PLEASURE FISHING BLOG NEXT SUNDAY.
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