Tuesdays mean Steve Collett, the boss of leading online tackle retailers Harris Sportsmail.
Steve’s blogs focus mainly on match fishing but also delve into his styles of pleasure fishing and specialist angling. He also appears regularly in Angler’s Mail magazine.
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GRUMPY WEEK AND PET HATES
IT’S a good job I don’t have to make a living from fishing matches, I would be destitute by now. I’m having the worst run of my life, and can’t put my finger on it, this weekend I was determined to make this change.
Well it’s over, no need to read any further I drew crap, and fished crapper, and whilst I’m packing away my gear in the grump of all grumps. I couldn’t help thinking of the things that are really starting to grind my gears with winter league fishing, but it would take all day. So I’ll give you my two least favourites about winter league and team fishing.
Everyone has one of these in their section, and it usually starts about an hour into the match. ” What weight ya got Steve?” or ” you’re on a shedful ain’t ya?” This seems to carry on for the next four hours.
Had any more? What weight? You’ve battered me mate, followed by a biblical and miraculous happening in their own keepnet.
So all through the day you have asked what I have got and Mr Weightwatcher will finally admit to having a pound. Yet, as if The Lord himself has appeared and turned your pound of fishes into ten, leaving him with that smirk that only a bankstick could wipe off… and ” oh, didn’t think I had that much.”
That’s number one on my grumpy list this week!
This is the moment in the match where you know the section is close. All around you seem to have roughly the same weight, so back at the pub even if you didn’t do so well, it becomes justified because the whole section has fished pants, and then with half an hour to go, it happens.
The bloke to your left or right has 4metres of elastic stretching out as he plays a lucky “lobbie” fish, a feeling in your stomach followed by a stare at your footplate and a full minute of headshaking as you begin to prepare your list of excuses for the team captain.
‘Err, there was an otter, a pike and a cormorant all in my swim, 15 boats and a canoeist.’
I’ve used ’em all.
And to top all of this off you have to pack away 15 top-five bleak rigs, bolo rods, lead rods and a feeder rod in the cold mud and rain.
Why oh why do I keep doing this?
So that’s my week: a last in section, a broken pole and team last. Like Nelson Mandela’s chiropodist said “defeat is bad” – (gerrit, “de feet”!) And I’m left totally disillusioned.
I will struggle to load my gear in the car next week, that is if I am even considered for the team after my last few woeful performances. I doubt that, I think I need a coaching session or something.
Well for the natural venue anglers it was a tough ‘un, and I expect the commercials are getting peggy so the results have been up and down across the country.
This week I have had to share the performance of the week with two great anglers who can cut it anywhere, one of them on an international trial and the other on a favourite venue of mine, and wait for it, they are both wenches!
So as you have probably seen in this week’s Angler’s Mail women are making a habit of becoming competitive and I for one am all for it. It beats staring at most match anglers; the bloke on the next peg to me last week could have frightened a police horse!
So this week, Miss Helen Dagnall who took the honours on the latest England Trial, and Wendy Locker who won at Patshull park get my deserved Angler’s Mail performance of the week. Girl power edition!
STEVE COLLETT RETURNS NEXT TUESDAY (OCTOBER 22).
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