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MATCH BLOG (Tues): welcome to the Room 101 of fishing!

Steve Collett – one of the keenest and most proficient all round anglers – is a weekly blogger here.

WELCOME TO the Tuesday blog. Tuesdays mean Steve Collett, focussing mainly on match fishing but also delving into his styles of pleasure fishing and specialist angling.

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THE ROOM 101 OF FISHING – HERE’S MINE!

I DON’T know whether you have seen the Room 101 show on TV at the moment. It’s presented by Frank Skinner who invites celebrities/guests to come on and banish their pet hates into “room 101″.

So I thought I would share with you a few of mine, and a few that I picked up from a great match fishing forum that also ran a thread on a similar thing as I was writing this.

Without further ado, please allow me to banish my fishing pet hates into the Angler’s Mail Room 101.

 

Bonus blog fact: Room 101 presenter Frank Skinner started his stand-up career with a gig at the Birmingham anglers club. He didn’t go down well, to put it mildly!

 

1. Fishery owners who tell porkie pies.

This enters a broad spectrum of fishery owners from the farmers that have pools containing “40lb” carp and many other record nudging species, to the ones that state “Wednesday Open, 26 fished.”

Firstly the “40lb” carp pond. I actually consulted on a stocking not a million miles away from me – a new hole in the ground, sorry I mean coarse fishery dug by a very wealthy farmer.

He opted for 1,000 F1s and a few other cheapest species he could get his hands on to cash in on fishing whilst his potatoes were asleep.

Now, only a year on, his advertisement reads “Carp to 20lb, perch to 5lb and bream to 15lb” and so on.

You have all read them. Now I would put all my pennies on a gamble that if we netted it today you would find the largest carp in there is not actually a carp but a F1 of around 3lb, a few small Perch and very few skimmer bream. But who is there to tell him otherwise?

I think it’s an absolute outrage to find hard working folks paying day ticket money to try and catch mythical fish. And have you noticed how the adverts always state carp to 20lb – they are never 23lb 4oz or 19lb 6oz.

To me its’ false advertising and daylight robbery and during my On Tour features for the Angler’s Mail, if I hear such claims from a fishery owner I will ask to see pictures at the very least to ensure the reader gets good value when he turns up, and has a genuine chance of catching a PB.

 

2. Inflated match attendance figures.

The next barrage of abuse for fishery owners (don’t forget I am one) is the inflated match attendances. Only last week I turned up to a venue that has shown the results as 20 turned up when in fact there was six.

Now I use a fair bit of the chancellors pocket money juice chasing matches midweek, and I must admit I get pretty angry when you see six gentlemen of “not working status” sat around a bag waiting to draw.

Where is everyone else? “They were never here, it must have been a misread in the papers.”

If I had my way, and I don’t, I would see to it that any match that has under 20 attendees does not get any publicity or reports in the paper, as it becomes an advertisement for a local tackle shop or new crazy brand.

We have all seen it, it reads something like this: Fisherman’s Fishing Tackle, Fisher Fishing Pond, 23 pegs – John the Mon (Pat’s Parrots and Pets Tackle) 120-0-0; Bob the Monk  (Pat’s Parrots and Pets Tackle.com) 110-0-0; Fred the Head  (Pat’s Parrots and Pets Tackle Reserves) 90-8-0.

So reading the paper you think “wow, who is this outfit? That John the Mon wins every week!!”

But in reality there was just the three, he had 20lb not 120lb and it’s all a blatant lie, a con, a rip off to get us there, to enhance his Government subsidy with cash.

 

Also going into my Room 101…

The Canal and Rivers Trust show bike and angler in perfect harmony. If only…

Wow I have only done two and I am exhausted! So I shall write a few funny ones I saw on the match fishing scene website, with thanks to those who wrote them.

Cat meat and paste – Cat meat is for cats and paste is for hanging wall paper.

Mountain bikes or should I say Canal Bikes?

And so they go on, we all have our pet hates, but it keeps us interested, and there is nowt wrong with opinions.

I would love to hear your pet hates that you would have banished to angling’s Room 101. Post up your “Room 101 hates” on our Facebook page starting with “My Room 101 hates are….”

 

 

With the sub-zero temperatures this week, I think every one of us that ventured out deserve a medal, and despite the weather and nasty easterly wind.

There were a few great results, and I would like to give the award to the guys on the River Wye at Hereford but I did that last week! Nevertheless I must mention Colin Harvey (DH angling) who is an amazing river angler and proved it this week with another great result.

But my Anglers Mail performance of the week goes to Lee Trevit (Preston Thatchers). He won round two of the Garbolino Sensas CIPS league at Gold Valley lakes with 20-2-0 of skimmers on the waggler and bloodworm beating a top field of anglers 70 from his peg 88 on middle lake.

Well done Lee, an outstanding performance.

 

STEVE COLLETT RETURNS NEXT TUESDAY (JANUARY 22).

READ A NEW BLOG HERE EVERY DAY!

 

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